In the last few weeks we have seen some incredibly powerful services at Revolution Church as we have talked about things that keep people in prisoned.
I haven't really talked alot about the series mainly due to the fact that it's been hitting home pretty much every week.
I have mentioned my strained relationship with my dad here multiple times, but I don't know that I have ever talked about the fact that he is an addict too. Since his second divorce he has been in and out of full blown steal from family and sell whatever ya got crack smoking madness, and rehab multiple times.
My mom has also had issues with addiction to painkillers and due to her rheumatoid arthritis and a doctor who evidently isn't paying much attention/get's bonuses based on prescriptions, my mom continues to have episodes of delusional behavior (just a few weeks ago I had to rush her to the hospital as she almost burned the house down because she had the oven on for 15 hours and was talking to people who were not in the room or had not been alive for years as well as calling me every male in our family EXCEPT my real name).
I have adopted an attitude and thinking that nothing will really surprise me and it usually gets me by, but just in the last 2 weeks I have been real frustrated and really had to rely on God to give me some strength.
My dad visited Revolution 2 weeks ago right on the day of the addiction message and then came to hang out at my house (something I am very careful with, boundaries are SO important with addicts) and he told me about how during his last relapse he had lost hope and wasn't sure he wanted to go on (ie Live anymore). I knew from what my cousin told me he was driving and over borrowed (stolen) truck. He asked if he could wash some clothes, he didn't have enough to even fill the washer into the small load category and they smelled as if it had been weeks since they had been washed and had been in anything from a garage to an old bar. He brought my boys some gifts that I am pretty sure were from a community charity or similar place. I gave him $8, two pairs of old shoes and a box for his clothes and it was just sad.
supposedly he is in rehab right now (probably the 4th time in 2 years) at least thats what he said on his voice mail message he left me this week. I also told him that if he didnt go that he could have no place in my family, and he thanked me.
My mom, as the 4 of you may know from twitter, had a heart attack last week, but not on the Sunday she was admitted in to the CCU. She actually had the heart attack on Thursday of last week but didnt go into the doctor until 4 days later. Probably due to the fact that she was high on Oxycoton for most of the week last week. Now though the doctors have to give her some pain meds but because she mentioned her prescription continue to prescribe her the very drug that may have caused damage to her in the first place.
My sisters and I try to tell the doctors and nurses what is going on but they are too slammed to pay real attention.
I say all this crap to say this...
People who have addictions and prisons that hold them back from what God wants them to be, not only imprison themselves but by doing so imprison the ones who love them as they have confined relationships. Because either you get, high dad or mom (or insert persons name) who doesnt care about anything or you get needing to get high person who is angry and will not listen to anything you say. Now we would love for our parents to get healthy but (especially for our mom) the very thing they need(relief from the pain of a heart attack) MAY cause the most harm (prolonging her addiction). Welcome to the frustrating prison of loving an addict.
Anyway, just needed to vent a little
No comments:
Post a Comment